Remember that Jim Carrey movie, Yes Man? You should, because it was awesome. If you haven't, then you should totally watch it. Right now.
I'll wait.
Seriously, though, the idea of the movie is that his character says yes to everything, opening him up to a wealth of opportunity and, naturally, eventually, love.
I've been really busy the last couple of years, and opportunities to experience new things don't generally fit into my schedule. However, my beloved husband (can you tell I miss him already?) is working in Texas, and so I have tried to fill up my spare hours by saying yes to all reasonable opportunities. Obviously, the less time I spend with nothing to do, the less time I spend desperately missing my husband (which I do regardless, but it's still good to keep busy).
It started with the oft-voiced promise of my friend Regan and I to "get in shape, for real." My sister is a hardcore workout queen, and notified me of Monday through Thursday meetings of the Nevada Fitness Club. Every night is a different workout: Monday is Combat Cardio, Tuesday T 25 (it's really T 30, and don't let anyone tell you differently), Wednesday is Insanity, and Thursday is P90X.
I have turned down the "opportunity" to work out with the Club 100 percent of the time for the last, I don't know, 18 months. No more. This time, I said yes. And then Regan and I made ourselves go with the commitment of Monday and Tuesday only (she works Wednesday nights, I have class Thursday nights).
Oh my God. So much pain. So much moving. So little rest. At the end of both workouts, I felt a lot like I felt the time I tried inhaling a cigarette. My throat is a pit of fire and pain, breathing hurts, and I'm actually sweating. Not pre-sweat. Not glow. Real, runny, sweat.
So weird.
And I LOVE it.
Last night I let it slip to my sister that I could actually go on Wednesdays, I just didn't want to go alone. She challenged me. I had to say yes. So tonight, I will go to Insanity solo.
That's ridiculous, right?
Then a friend of mine from the Vernon County Cancer Relief board texted me and asked if I would be interested in dinner with a small group Friday night at this crazy expensive eatery I have never been to precisely because of the price.
I did a quick budget in my mind, remembered my upcoming tuition installment payment and car payment, took a deep breath, and texted back "yes!"
This is a temporary experiment that will last a total of one week, but it has yielded ultimately positive results, and it fits in with my viewpoint that life is a series of collectible experiences, and that one should collect as many as possible for the most well-rounded stay on Earth.
*shrug*
Whatev. We'll see how it all shakes out. But for now, I have to say, I love the workouts. I forgot what instant endorphin-boosting that exercise is, and anyone who's on the fence about working out in front of other people, these classes are ideal, because you're too busy trying to force air into your lungs to care about how well somebody else is doing high-knees. I mean, I'm not telling you what to do, but sometimes going outside of your comfort zone shows you that there's a lot more to life than tucking yourself safely inside a comfort zone.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Personal
Last night, my son played me a new song. He prefaced the playing by telling me that it was very sad, but brilliant.
Well, I've been emotional these last few days, and it seemed like the timing for a sad song was not great, but he's my son and I love him, so I acquiesced.
The song is called Personal, by Stars, and the lyrics are as follows.
[Wanted:]
Single f, under 33, must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
[Sought by single m:] Mrs.Destiny, send photo to address, is it you and me?
[Reply to single m:]
My name is Caroline cell phone number here, call if you have the time
28 and bored, grieving over loss, sorry to be heavy but heavy is the cost, heavy is the cost
[Reply to Caroline:]
Thanks so much for response, these things can be scary
Not always what you want
How about a drink? The St.Jude club at noon?
I'll phone you first I guess
I hope I see you soon!
I never got your name, I assume you're 33
Your voice it sounded kind
I hope that you like me
When you see my face, I hope that you don't laugh
I'm not a film-star beauty
I sent a photograph
I hope that you don't laugh...
[Note to single m:]
Why did you not show up?
I waited for an hour and finally gave up
I thought once that I saw you, I thought that you saw me
I guess we'll never meet now
It wasn't meant to be
I was sure that you saw me, but it wasn't meant to be
[Wanted:]
single f, under 33, must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
Sought by single m:
nothing too heavy, send photo to address
is it you?
or me?
I almost had to leave the room. Because it wasn't just that the lyrics were so sad (and they were). It wasn't just the combination of the lyrics with the heartbreakingly beautiful melody. What really finished me off was the nonverbal portion.
The female part came quickly, words almost tumbling one over the other as she replied. The male part was slower. There were pauses, and those pauses continued to lengthen. By the end, it was almost too intense to listen to. There has only ever been one other song to invoke that sort of intense emotion within me upon first listen, so this was huge.
Hunter wanted to play it again, and I said no. He started to anyway, so eager was he to convince me of the beauty of it, and when he did, I had to leave the room.
And then I started to think about it. Though the theme of a woman who had suffered a loss trying to find love and being brutally rejected was tragic, that woman could have had it a lot worse. She was lucky to have found someone who made no secret of the fact that he was an asshole, though he did reveal himself in an underhanded way. She was lucky that the relationship never developed, because what kind of person does that? Certainly not the type that you want in your life long-term.
And then I REALLY started to think about it. This song brings up an interesting point. We all just want to be happy. Many of us achieve that happiness in a relationship, or so we think. The beginning is all puppy love and obsession, and it feels nice. It feels like the most amazing thing in the world, and why didn't anyone ever tell us love was this big? This beautiful? We neglect other parts of our lives, so wrapped up are we in that other person.
Then the new wears off, and this relationship starts to require work, and the next thing you know, you're not sure the last time that you had a real conversation. Maybe you have kids together, or have a demanding job, and you forget to focus on your significant other. And then...he or she is gone, and the crushing grief kicks in. You really loved that person. He or she was your life, and meant everything to you. You can't think of anything else but how happy you were with them, even if, while you were in that relationship, you weren't really focused on it. You start to think you're miserable and will never be happy again.
That kind of thinking, and I can say it because I've been guilty of it, is STUPID. You cannot depend on someone else to be in charge of your happiness. The only person who can control your emotions...is you.
Absolutely, mourn the end of a relationship. Absolutely, take a little time to feel sorry for yourself, to wallow in self-pity, to eat up all the ice cream you can find and listen to the song he played for you when he declared his love for the first time.
And then man up and move on.
You owe it to yourself, the person that you will spend every waking moment with for the entirety of your lifetime. You owe it to yourself to realize that the relationship you have with YOU needs to be the best thing you ever experienced.
Get to know yourself. Obsess over what makes you happy. Find your comfort zone.
Be your own best friend.
And maybe someday you will find your soul mate, but there is no sense in even trying to do that if you don't like yourself. If YOU don't like you, why on earth should anyone else?
So, to that girl in the song, and I know she is everywhere in the world, don't pin your hopes on him. Grieve your loss first, and then go buy yourself something, even if it's just a new tube of lipstick. Practice smiling. Then practice it more. Before long, it will come naturally. Smile right now and tell me you don't feel just a tiny bit better.
And then remind yourself that you're pretty damn amazing. And someday, if someone is lucky enough, they'll get to realize it, too.
Well, I've been emotional these last few days, and it seemed like the timing for a sad song was not great, but he's my son and I love him, so I acquiesced.
The song is called Personal, by Stars, and the lyrics are as follows.
[Wanted:]
Single f, under 33, must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
[Sought by single m:] Mrs.Destiny, send photo to address, is it you and me?
[Reply to single m:]
My name is Caroline cell phone number here, call if you have the time
28 and bored, grieving over loss, sorry to be heavy but heavy is the cost, heavy is the cost
[Reply to Caroline:]
Thanks so much for response, these things can be scary
Not always what you want
How about a drink? The St.Jude club at noon?
I'll phone you first I guess
I hope I see you soon!
I never got your name, I assume you're 33
Your voice it sounded kind
I hope that you like me
When you see my face, I hope that you don't laugh
I'm not a film-star beauty
I sent a photograph
I hope that you don't laugh...
[Note to single m:]
Why did you not show up?
I waited for an hour and finally gave up
I thought once that I saw you, I thought that you saw me
I guess we'll never meet now
It wasn't meant to be
I was sure that you saw me, but it wasn't meant to be
[Wanted:]
single f, under 33, must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
Sought by single m:
nothing too heavy, send photo to address
is it you?
or me?
I almost had to leave the room. Because it wasn't just that the lyrics were so sad (and they were). It wasn't just the combination of the lyrics with the heartbreakingly beautiful melody. What really finished me off was the nonverbal portion.
The female part came quickly, words almost tumbling one over the other as she replied. The male part was slower. There were pauses, and those pauses continued to lengthen. By the end, it was almost too intense to listen to. There has only ever been one other song to invoke that sort of intense emotion within me upon first listen, so this was huge.
Hunter wanted to play it again, and I said no. He started to anyway, so eager was he to convince me of the beauty of it, and when he did, I had to leave the room.
And then I started to think about it. Though the theme of a woman who had suffered a loss trying to find love and being brutally rejected was tragic, that woman could have had it a lot worse. She was lucky to have found someone who made no secret of the fact that he was an asshole, though he did reveal himself in an underhanded way. She was lucky that the relationship never developed, because what kind of person does that? Certainly not the type that you want in your life long-term.
And then I REALLY started to think about it. This song brings up an interesting point. We all just want to be happy. Many of us achieve that happiness in a relationship, or so we think. The beginning is all puppy love and obsession, and it feels nice. It feels like the most amazing thing in the world, and why didn't anyone ever tell us love was this big? This beautiful? We neglect other parts of our lives, so wrapped up are we in that other person.
Then the new wears off, and this relationship starts to require work, and the next thing you know, you're not sure the last time that you had a real conversation. Maybe you have kids together, or have a demanding job, and you forget to focus on your significant other. And then...he or she is gone, and the crushing grief kicks in. You really loved that person. He or she was your life, and meant everything to you. You can't think of anything else but how happy you were with them, even if, while you were in that relationship, you weren't really focused on it. You start to think you're miserable and will never be happy again.
That kind of thinking, and I can say it because I've been guilty of it, is STUPID. You cannot depend on someone else to be in charge of your happiness. The only person who can control your emotions...is you.
Absolutely, mourn the end of a relationship. Absolutely, take a little time to feel sorry for yourself, to wallow in self-pity, to eat up all the ice cream you can find and listen to the song he played for you when he declared his love for the first time.
And then man up and move on.
You owe it to yourself, the person that you will spend every waking moment with for the entirety of your lifetime. You owe it to yourself to realize that the relationship you have with YOU needs to be the best thing you ever experienced.
Get to know yourself. Obsess over what makes you happy. Find your comfort zone.
Be your own best friend.
And maybe someday you will find your soul mate, but there is no sense in even trying to do that if you don't like yourself. If YOU don't like you, why on earth should anyone else?
So, to that girl in the song, and I know she is everywhere in the world, don't pin your hopes on him. Grieve your loss first, and then go buy yourself something, even if it's just a new tube of lipstick. Practice smiling. Then practice it more. Before long, it will come naturally. Smile right now and tell me you don't feel just a tiny bit better.
And then remind yourself that you're pretty damn amazing. And someday, if someone is lucky enough, they'll get to realize it, too.
Letting Go.
For the last several months, I've been struggling with an issue that at times can shake my already-tenuous grasp on confidence. Though I'm nowhere near as confident as, say, my son is, I really WANT to be, and I've come a long way in the last however many years it's been since I was 13 (fine, it's been 25 years).
That's pretty much when I first became aware of my appearance in a self-conscious way. And I was lucky - girls now, in my opinion, are under a lot more pressure to look good at a much younger age, since the birth of social media and the selfie. At least when I was a teenager, we really only had to compare ourselves to the girls in our class and the girls in magazines. Now, there are comparisons everywhere. The pictures I see on my news feed every day make me think, damn, I wouldn't stand a chance against these girls. I wish I had my eighth grade picture just to prove what I looked like versus what these girls look like. It's crazy.
But I digress. The point is, I'm like many people out there - I want to be a good person, but I get caught up in my own petty obsessions. I think too much about trivial things that, almost 100 percent of the time, don't happen. I have conversations in my mind that will never take place, about life events that also will never take place. I catch myself doing these things, and I recognize myself to be the compilation of equal parts narcissism and self-doubt that I really am.
In the issue I've been dealing with, every move I make online has been obsessively followed. Pictures I take and statuses I post have been raked over with a fine-tooth comb. I don't care about that - if I didn't want things out there, I obviously wouldn't post them. Still, at times it's a bit unnerving. And, to be honest, a little creepy.
But, in the end, there is nothing I can do about it. And that is why this list has been so beneficial to me. For that reason, I'm going to share it with you, because I like you and want you to be happy.
Here is the link to the article, or just read it here. Either way, I did NOT write it.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.
“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
I have this list hanging up in my office, and I try to read it every day. Does it work?
Are you kidding me? Every day is still a brand new challenge. But then I read it again.
Eventually, I hope that these little rules will stick.
Here is my other reference, more of a pocket one, if you will. Here it is:
So, check them out. See if they can help you in your life. And if they can't, if you're already chill and Zen and at one with the present, then please contact me. I have a lot to learn from you.
The rest of you, welcome. Let's figure this out together.
That's pretty much when I first became aware of my appearance in a self-conscious way. And I was lucky - girls now, in my opinion, are under a lot more pressure to look good at a much younger age, since the birth of social media and the selfie. At least when I was a teenager, we really only had to compare ourselves to the girls in our class and the girls in magazines. Now, there are comparisons everywhere. The pictures I see on my news feed every day make me think, damn, I wouldn't stand a chance against these girls. I wish I had my eighth grade picture just to prove what I looked like versus what these girls look like. It's crazy.
But I digress. The point is, I'm like many people out there - I want to be a good person, but I get caught up in my own petty obsessions. I think too much about trivial things that, almost 100 percent of the time, don't happen. I have conversations in my mind that will never take place, about life events that also will never take place. I catch myself doing these things, and I recognize myself to be the compilation of equal parts narcissism and self-doubt that I really am.
In the issue I've been dealing with, every move I make online has been obsessively followed. Pictures I take and statuses I post have been raked over with a fine-tooth comb. I don't care about that - if I didn't want things out there, I obviously wouldn't post them. Still, at times it's a bit unnerving. And, to be honest, a little creepy.
But, in the end, there is nothing I can do about it. And that is why this list has been so beneficial to me. For that reason, I'm going to share it with you, because I like you and want you to be happy.
Here is the link to the article, or just read it here. Either way, I did NOT write it.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.
“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
I have this list hanging up in my office, and I try to read it every day. Does it work?
Are you kidding me? Every day is still a brand new challenge. But then I read it again.
Eventually, I hope that these little rules will stick.
Here is my other reference, more of a pocket one, if you will. Here it is:
So, check them out. See if they can help you in your life. And if they can't, if you're already chill and Zen and at one with the present, then please contact me. I have a lot to learn from you.
The rest of you, welcome. Let's figure this out together.
Monday, August 19, 2013
My Last Fall...
Today is the last first fall semester day as a student.
In a way, it's unbelievable that it's already here. In another way, when I do the math, I realize this is my sixth semester as a PSU student, and so, well, YEAH, it should be my last fall semester. I didn't intend for this to be a lifetime thing.
But I LOVE the classroom. I love learning. I didn't always, which is why I'm just now finishing my graduate degree, at age 38. I appreciate it now, however. Part of it is that I'm paying for this education myself, out of pocket, as I go. Part of it is that I just...CARE now, in a way that I certainly didn't before.
Regardless, here I am. And it's a little bittersweet. Everything today looks a little rosier, a little more polished, and pretty, and magical, than it normally would. This time next year, I won't be making the 40-mile commute to campus. Though I would love to return as a professor, I haven't made the decision to pursue my doctorate. My husband and I have a different plan, one in which I travel with him so that we can actually spend time together as a married couple. Also, the light of my life, my son, will be a senior in high school next year, and I don't want to start a new project and miss the last nine months of the best 18 years of my life.
So, this is it. And it's enough. I made goals for myself when I was sick, and this degree is the final goal. Not, like, an I-can-die-now final goal, but the final goal that would require real work on my part.
It's a little sad that this is the last year working in Career Services.
It's a little sad that this is the last class I will take taught by Dr. Arbuckle, who is an amazing person.
It's a little sad that this is the last semester I will take a class in 309 Grubbs Hall, the staple classroom of my college career here.
Life goes on, and all things must end, and I've been through enough phases of life to know that I'll keep truckin' without pause, because I tend to leave things behind a little too easily. But in this time leading up to that end, I reserve the right to be stupidly nostalgic.
Also, have you read my article? Because you should. And then read other articles on the site, because it's great, and there is something there that will resonate with you. I guarantee it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-time-to-act-is-now-get-out-there-and-seize-the-moment/
And here's a nice picture for you. Of food, because it's me.
In a way, it's unbelievable that it's already here. In another way, when I do the math, I realize this is my sixth semester as a PSU student, and so, well, YEAH, it should be my last fall semester. I didn't intend for this to be a lifetime thing.
But I LOVE the classroom. I love learning. I didn't always, which is why I'm just now finishing my graduate degree, at age 38. I appreciate it now, however. Part of it is that I'm paying for this education myself, out of pocket, as I go. Part of it is that I just...CARE now, in a way that I certainly didn't before.
Regardless, here I am. And it's a little bittersweet. Everything today looks a little rosier, a little more polished, and pretty, and magical, than it normally would. This time next year, I won't be making the 40-mile commute to campus. Though I would love to return as a professor, I haven't made the decision to pursue my doctorate. My husband and I have a different plan, one in which I travel with him so that we can actually spend time together as a married couple. Also, the light of my life, my son, will be a senior in high school next year, and I don't want to start a new project and miss the last nine months of the best 18 years of my life.
So, this is it. And it's enough. I made goals for myself when I was sick, and this degree is the final goal. Not, like, an I-can-die-now final goal, but the final goal that would require real work on my part.
It's a little sad that this is the last year working in Career Services.
It's a little sad that this is the last class I will take taught by Dr. Arbuckle, who is an amazing person.
It's a little sad that this is the last semester I will take a class in 309 Grubbs Hall, the staple classroom of my college career here.
Life goes on, and all things must end, and I've been through enough phases of life to know that I'll keep truckin' without pause, because I tend to leave things behind a little too easily. But in this time leading up to that end, I reserve the right to be stupidly nostalgic.
Also, have you read my article? Because you should. And then read other articles on the site, because it's great, and there is something there that will resonate with you. I guarantee it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-time-to-act-is-now-get-out-there-and-seize-the-moment/
And here's a nice picture for you. Of food, because it's me.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
20 YEARS? Seriously?
This weekend is my 20-year class reunion.
I mean, what?
In a way, it seems like it has been every bit of 20 years since I was a student at Nevada High School. My son is about to start his junior year there, for heaven's sake, so mathematically it definitely makes sense.
In other ways, I'm kind of stunned. It doesn't feel like I should be one of the old ones. I still feel relevant, despite repeated assurances from my kids that I'm not. I feel like I'm just now becoming comfortable in my own skin. I wish I'd been that way 20 years ago, but I wasn't, and that's the end of that.
I see my kid now, and he is everything I would have wished for high-school Jen. Except the being a guy part. I was cool with being a girl. But he has this confidence that I never had. He has this natural ability to talk to people, and he is, like, so well-rounded. He understands math and chemistry and stuff.
But I digress. The original point was, I'm 20 years older, and this weekend, a handful of classmates and myself will converge at an agreed-upon meeting place to stare at each other surreptitiously and drink.
Should be interesting. And it's made me come up with a little compilation of my life now that I would love to go back and tell 17-year-old me, just to freak her out.
The list would go something like this.
1) Remember that incredibly hot guy that you almost literally drooled over every single day of your senior year? The guy whose butt you stared at longingly every chance you got? The guy who, when he looked at you, rendered you incapable of speech, thereby preventing you from ever having a conversation with him in high school? Yeah. You're married to him now.
2) You DID get through the math requirement and get your bachelor's degree. And you didn't even have to cheat or bribe anyone.
3) Sit down, honey. Take a deep breath. This is going to be a tough one. You never got out of Nevada.
4) Oh, also you had cancer. You lost your hair, and you have one HELL of a freaky situation going on with that boob, but you got to keep it!
5) You know how you didn't ever really like kids? You had one. And then you got two bonus kids. All boys, thank God, so there's that.
6) You don't lift weights anymore. I know. I know. But there's this great thing called yoga...
7) Since I just hit you with that, I'm going to gut punch you again real quick. You don't play tennis anymore.
8) Ms. Holman came back to Nevada and was the first female principal of NHS, which was AWESOME! Sadly, she just retired and moved to Eureka Springs, but still, that was cool.
9) The one thing you can't live without is a little portable phone that also functions as a computer and a Walkman.
10) You still work at the movie theater. But you actually like it now. And you get to work at a college too, in order to get your intellect on, so it's a good balance.
and FINALLY:
11) You're going to be a (step)grandmother, probably by the end of this sentence. I know. Weird.
I can't imagine Future Me coming to tell Young Me any of that 20 years ago. It's good that I didn't, though. If Future Me told Young Me I would still live in Nevada, Young Me would have done anything to make that not happen, which would have wiped out many of the other things on the list, namely the most important one, which is my current little family.
All in all, it's a kick-ass life, and I feel unbelievably blessed to be living it. I hope my classmates have had their own amazing 20 years of stories.
Oh, and you better believe there will be pictures this weekend. Brace yourselves.
I mean, what?
In a way, it seems like it has been every bit of 20 years since I was a student at Nevada High School. My son is about to start his junior year there, for heaven's sake, so mathematically it definitely makes sense.
In other ways, I'm kind of stunned. It doesn't feel like I should be one of the old ones. I still feel relevant, despite repeated assurances from my kids that I'm not. I feel like I'm just now becoming comfortable in my own skin. I wish I'd been that way 20 years ago, but I wasn't, and that's the end of that.
I see my kid now, and he is everything I would have wished for high-school Jen. Except the being a guy part. I was cool with being a girl. But he has this confidence that I never had. He has this natural ability to talk to people, and he is, like, so well-rounded. He understands math and chemistry and stuff.
But I digress. The original point was, I'm 20 years older, and this weekend, a handful of classmates and myself will converge at an agreed-upon meeting place to stare at each other surreptitiously and drink.
Should be interesting. And it's made me come up with a little compilation of my life now that I would love to go back and tell 17-year-old me, just to freak her out.
The list would go something like this.
1) Remember that incredibly hot guy that you almost literally drooled over every single day of your senior year? The guy whose butt you stared at longingly every chance you got? The guy who, when he looked at you, rendered you incapable of speech, thereby preventing you from ever having a conversation with him in high school? Yeah. You're married to him now.
2) You DID get through the math requirement and get your bachelor's degree. And you didn't even have to cheat or bribe anyone.
3) Sit down, honey. Take a deep breath. This is going to be a tough one. You never got out of Nevada.
4) Oh, also you had cancer. You lost your hair, and you have one HELL of a freaky situation going on with that boob, but you got to keep it!
5) You know how you didn't ever really like kids? You had one. And then you got two bonus kids. All boys, thank God, so there's that.
6) You don't lift weights anymore. I know. I know. But there's this great thing called yoga...
7) Since I just hit you with that, I'm going to gut punch you again real quick. You don't play tennis anymore.
8) Ms. Holman came back to Nevada and was the first female principal of NHS, which was AWESOME! Sadly, she just retired and moved to Eureka Springs, but still, that was cool.
9) The one thing you can't live without is a little portable phone that also functions as a computer and a Walkman.
10) You still work at the movie theater. But you actually like it now. And you get to work at a college too, in order to get your intellect on, so it's a good balance.
and FINALLY:
11) You're going to be a (step)grandmother, probably by the end of this sentence. I know. Weird.
I can't imagine Future Me coming to tell Young Me any of that 20 years ago. It's good that I didn't, though. If Future Me told Young Me I would still live in Nevada, Young Me would have done anything to make that not happen, which would have wiped out many of the other things on the list, namely the most important one, which is my current little family.
All in all, it's a kick-ass life, and I feel unbelievably blessed to be living it. I hope my classmates have had their own amazing 20 years of stories.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day!
Friday night, I got home from work at about eleven. It had been a long day and a long week, and I was tired and ready to crash. We were leaving super early Saturday morning to go visit my sister, and more than anything I just wanted to fall face down on my bed and not move for eight hours.
The first thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen were the dirty dishes. That was normal, and the dishwasher was empty, so I could handle it. As I loaded them, my eyes drifted to the kitchen table, which was covered in newspapers, what looked to be a finger painting, a roll of tape, scissors, a hole punch, a roll of yarn, and markers.
I knew that the perp was my son, because he gets creative often, but his enthusiasm doesn't extend into cleanup. He was asleep in his room, and I didn't want to wake him up to yell at him. I also didn't want to leave the mess for the morning, because I'm anal like that and I like to go to sleep in a clean house.
So I cleaned it all up. It didn't take long, really, and when I finished I surveyed the clean kitchen with satisfaction and turned to go down the hallway.
I saw the boys' bathroom light was on, so I reached in to turn it off and got my next surprise.
Hunter had cut his hair. To his credit, he had cleaned quite a bit of it up, but there was still a fine misting of hair on the counter, in the sink, and all over the rug and tile on the floor.
Another huge sigh as I went to get the broom. Again, the thought of leaving that for the morning just didn't sit well with me.
With the bathroom sparkling, and me grumbling, I went into my bedroom and flipped on the light.
That's when I saw it. A big envelope consisting of several sheets of computer paper taped together. Yarn was threaded through holes punched in each side and "Mom" was printed on the front in red marker.
I opened the envelope to find a seven-page handwritten letter that read as follows:
Mother,
I want to start off this letter by saying that you're dumb and I don't love you. I'm only writing this letter out of sympathy. Everybody knows that Mother's Day is a made-up holiday that was only created by some chick who thought the world owed her something just because she pro-created like she was supposed to [author's note: not true, but bless his heart]. However, whilst I was doing my usual business and ignoring you so I could watch cat videos, an advertisement played before one of them. I had my hands full because I was eating the dinner that you cooked for me (and I probably didn't thank you for, but rather most likely made a snide remark about how bad it was). So I didn't skip the advertisement after 5 seconds like I usually would have. The ad was made by Google, so I wasn't too upset. They typically have good advertisements. If it was the new ad for the upcoming, seven-part series about North America, I would have thrown my plate across the room and stopped it, because the song that plays during that ad fills me with a burning rage that is only comparable to the rage I feel when I see your face. I mean seriously, the budget for that documentary is probably massive, and it sounds like the guy who was in charge of picking the music had a 5 dollar budget, and they told him he had to right (sic) the music himself and play every instrument at once, while singing. Oh, and he was deaf. From birth. It's so bad. Anyway, back to this Google ad. It started out with a nice acoustic guitar, and I could tell it was about to get emotional. The ad consisted of a compilation of videos of pretty awesome moms. There were kids that were talking about how thankful they were for their mothers. How strange, I thought. I was relatively unaffected because I was trying to keep down the dinner you made. But the last clip got me. It was a young woman in an Army uniform, which I presumed meant that she had just come back from a vacation, or something. Anyway, she was heading towards a very young boy, presumably a few years of age or less. The boy looked at the woman for a moment, and then outstretched his arms and cried, "Mommy!" Everyone in the area laughed and cried, and fun was had by all. My heart strings were played as if Jimi Hendrix were playing a harp, but like his expertise of the guitar was transformed into harp-expertise, or "harpertise" as we call it in the business. It was then that I realized, there are a lot of great Moms out there. Millions. Moms that would do anything for their child because they love them so much. But then there is you.
I would not put you in a category with these moms. No no, there is something different about you. You don't treat me like your son. You treat me like a fellow human being and individual consciousness that just so happens to be like yours. You take care of me because you want to help me progress through life, not because you feel responsible. Not many Moms are like you, but the few who are, know how to raise a child. There aren't any Moms on this planet that I would rather call my own.
I got pretty darn lucky, and I know it. I really do. I know I'm not great at showing it all the time, but surely that's just an age thing. But I really do know how lucky I am, and I am very thankful every day. I love you so much, Mom. Oh yeah, and you owe me tree-fiddy.
-Loch Ness Monster [author's note: a joke from AskReddit]
So when I read that letter, all the irritation melted away and I saw the night for what it really was: an opportunity for me to be grateful. Yes, I have this child who makes messes and doesn't pick them up and who drives me crazy, but how lucky am I to have him around for all of the great times? A little mess here and there was a small price to pay for all the joy he has brought into my life.
Then, today on the way home, I stopped to get gas and Zane ran into the gas station. I started to get worried after he was in there for awhile, and wondered if he had picked something out I needed to go pay for. Just as I was about to give up and go check on him, he ran back out holding some candy.
"What'd you get?" I asked, thinking he had bought himself snacks.
He flipped a package of Starbursts at me nonchalantly.
"Happy Mother's Day."
I thought I was going to cry.
I really am the luckiest mom ever.
The first thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen were the dirty dishes. That was normal, and the dishwasher was empty, so I could handle it. As I loaded them, my eyes drifted to the kitchen table, which was covered in newspapers, what looked to be a finger painting, a roll of tape, scissors, a hole punch, a roll of yarn, and markers.
I knew that the perp was my son, because he gets creative often, but his enthusiasm doesn't extend into cleanup. He was asleep in his room, and I didn't want to wake him up to yell at him. I also didn't want to leave the mess for the morning, because I'm anal like that and I like to go to sleep in a clean house.
So I cleaned it all up. It didn't take long, really, and when I finished I surveyed the clean kitchen with satisfaction and turned to go down the hallway.
I saw the boys' bathroom light was on, so I reached in to turn it off and got my next surprise.
Hunter had cut his hair. To his credit, he had cleaned quite a bit of it up, but there was still a fine misting of hair on the counter, in the sink, and all over the rug and tile on the floor.
Another huge sigh as I went to get the broom. Again, the thought of leaving that for the morning just didn't sit well with me.
With the bathroom sparkling, and me grumbling, I went into my bedroom and flipped on the light.
That's when I saw it. A big envelope consisting of several sheets of computer paper taped together. Yarn was threaded through holes punched in each side and "Mom" was printed on the front in red marker.
I opened the envelope to find a seven-page handwritten letter that read as follows:
Mother,
I want to start off this letter by saying that you're dumb and I don't love you. I'm only writing this letter out of sympathy. Everybody knows that Mother's Day is a made-up holiday that was only created by some chick who thought the world owed her something just because she pro-created like she was supposed to [author's note: not true, but bless his heart]. However, whilst I was doing my usual business and ignoring you so I could watch cat videos, an advertisement played before one of them. I had my hands full because I was eating the dinner that you cooked for me (and I probably didn't thank you for, but rather most likely made a snide remark about how bad it was). So I didn't skip the advertisement after 5 seconds like I usually would have. The ad was made by Google, so I wasn't too upset. They typically have good advertisements. If it was the new ad for the upcoming, seven-part series about North America, I would have thrown my plate across the room and stopped it, because the song that plays during that ad fills me with a burning rage that is only comparable to the rage I feel when I see your face. I mean seriously, the budget for that documentary is probably massive, and it sounds like the guy who was in charge of picking the music had a 5 dollar budget, and they told him he had to right (sic) the music himself and play every instrument at once, while singing. Oh, and he was deaf. From birth. It's so bad. Anyway, back to this Google ad. It started out with a nice acoustic guitar, and I could tell it was about to get emotional. The ad consisted of a compilation of videos of pretty awesome moms. There were kids that were talking about how thankful they were for their mothers. How strange, I thought. I was relatively unaffected because I was trying to keep down the dinner you made. But the last clip got me. It was a young woman in an Army uniform, which I presumed meant that she had just come back from a vacation, or something. Anyway, she was heading towards a very young boy, presumably a few years of age or less. The boy looked at the woman for a moment, and then outstretched his arms and cried, "Mommy!" Everyone in the area laughed and cried, and fun was had by all. My heart strings were played as if Jimi Hendrix were playing a harp, but like his expertise of the guitar was transformed into harp-expertise, or "harpertise" as we call it in the business. It was then that I realized, there are a lot of great Moms out there. Millions. Moms that would do anything for their child because they love them so much. But then there is you.
I would not put you in a category with these moms. No no, there is something different about you. You don't treat me like your son. You treat me like a fellow human being and individual consciousness that just so happens to be like yours. You take care of me because you want to help me progress through life, not because you feel responsible. Not many Moms are like you, but the few who are, know how to raise a child. There aren't any Moms on this planet that I would rather call my own.
I got pretty darn lucky, and I know it. I really do. I know I'm not great at showing it all the time, but surely that's just an age thing. But I really do know how lucky I am, and I am very thankful every day. I love you so much, Mom. Oh yeah, and you owe me tree-fiddy.
-Loch Ness Monster [author's note: a joke from AskReddit]
So when I read that letter, all the irritation melted away and I saw the night for what it really was: an opportunity for me to be grateful. Yes, I have this child who makes messes and doesn't pick them up and who drives me crazy, but how lucky am I to have him around for all of the great times? A little mess here and there was a small price to pay for all the joy he has brought into my life.
Then, today on the way home, I stopped to get gas and Zane ran into the gas station. I started to get worried after he was in there for awhile, and wondered if he had picked something out I needed to go pay for. Just as I was about to give up and go check on him, he ran back out holding some candy.
"What'd you get?" I asked, thinking he had bought himself snacks.
He flipped a package of Starbursts at me nonchalantly.
"Happy Mother's Day."
I thought I was going to cry.
I really am the luckiest mom ever.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Maybe Don't Yoga in the Kitchen.
I used to do a lot of yoga. By "a lot" I mean I did "Power Yoga - With Adrienne Reed", a series originally found on PBS that I DVR'd religiously in 2006-2008. Each session was roughly 24 minutes long, but I convinced myself, because, let's face it, if you want to believe something, it's pretty easy to believe it, that I was a true yoga girl.
When I got divorced, all of those DVR'd episodes disappeared, and so did my will to yoga. For the next five years, I halfheartedly tried to stretch about twice a year, but pretty much my desire to exercise, a desire which consumed me from my teenage years to my early thirties, was gone. It was weird.
I spent those five years trying to not gain weight and discovering flavored vodka, in that order. Not like, the whole five years, but when I think back on them, those are the two things that jump out at me.
I blame my sister for what happened next. Shannon got all up in Insanity, and eating nothing but cheese and nuts or something, and as her health reached super-human levels, she began to lightly pester me about getting in shape.
I slapped her away for a few months, but in January, to appease her, I started back with Adrienne. Four days a week at first, then five, then, based on the gentle admonitions of my SparkPeople app, I bumped it to 180 minutes a week.
I'm lazy about location. I'll yoga pretty much in any open space as long as nobody is watching.
I'm also lazy about the actual workout, and that leads us to this week.
I have a large window in my dining room (which is, let's be honest, really just an extension of the kitchen), and the view is great. I decided to do some yoga in front of it, and here is how the following 24 minutes went down.
Hey, it feels easier to stretch in the kitchen. Weird.
I need to open the curtains. I'll just do that real quick while Adrienne announces the next pose.
I hate these curtains.
I mean, they're not bad. But come on.
I wonder if those lace valances Mom gave me would work here.
The sun feels so good. I'm just going to take the curtain rod off and then after yoga I'll try the valances.
DEAR GOD. I have cellulite on my quads? It was one thing to have it on the backs of my legs, at least I couldn't see it then. DAMN YOU SUN. I couldn't see it when the curtains were down.
I'm drinking water and exercising and I still have cellulite? I may as well hustle and get those valances now while she announces the next pose. It's not like I can exercise away this cellulite. That shit's genetic.
I'll go ahead and take the curtains off the other window in here too. Then everything will match.
WHY DOES EVERY CURTAIN ROD IN EVERY HOUSE I LIVE IN HAVE TO HAVE THAT JACKED-UP JAGGED EDGE!?
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
I WILL jerk those valances across this jacked-up metal edge without tearing them. I WILL.
Screw it, I'll rip the lace. I hate these curtain rods and I hate this lace! I HATE IT!
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
Wow that sucked. But it's on! DON'T SLIDE OFF THE OTHER SIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SLIDING OFF JUST LET ME PUT THIS ROD BACK ON THE WINDOW AND THEN I WILL NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN. I'M SERIOUS, I WILL MOVE OUT OF THIS HOUSE HAVING NEVER TOUCHED YOU AGAIN. PLEASE JUST DON'T SLIDE OFF...thank you.
I'll just finish yoga and then do the other window.
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
I can't wait, I'll just do it now. I really just need my legs for this pose, anyway.
Wow. This curtain rod doesn't have a jagged edge?! I should write that down in a journal or something, commemorate that somewhere. Let me just pop this one back on the window while she's announcing the next pose...
DAMN, THAT LOOKS GOOD! The kitchen looks so much bigger! Wow. Take a picture and send it to Mom and thank her.
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
Damn it, this carpet needs vacuumed. I can't believe how bad this looks. The light really isn't doing my lack of vacuuming any favors.
*vacuum*
*vacuum*
Corpse pose already!? Yoga goes so much faster in here! I love it!
When I got divorced, all of those DVR'd episodes disappeared, and so did my will to yoga. For the next five years, I halfheartedly tried to stretch about twice a year, but pretty much my desire to exercise, a desire which consumed me from my teenage years to my early thirties, was gone. It was weird.
I spent those five years trying to not gain weight and discovering flavored vodka, in that order. Not like, the whole five years, but when I think back on them, those are the two things that jump out at me.
I blame my sister for what happened next. Shannon got all up in Insanity, and eating nothing but cheese and nuts or something, and as her health reached super-human levels, she began to lightly pester me about getting in shape.
I slapped her away for a few months, but in January, to appease her, I started back with Adrienne. Four days a week at first, then five, then, based on the gentle admonitions of my SparkPeople app, I bumped it to 180 minutes a week.
I'm lazy about location. I'll yoga pretty much in any open space as long as nobody is watching.
I'm also lazy about the actual workout, and that leads us to this week.
I have a large window in my dining room (which is, let's be honest, really just an extension of the kitchen), and the view is great. I decided to do some yoga in front of it, and here is how the following 24 minutes went down.
Hey, it feels easier to stretch in the kitchen. Weird.
I need to open the curtains. I'll just do that real quick while Adrienne announces the next pose.
I hate these curtains.
I mean, they're not bad. But come on.
I wonder if those lace valances Mom gave me would work here.
The sun feels so good. I'm just going to take the curtain rod off and then after yoga I'll try the valances.
DEAR GOD. I have cellulite on my quads? It was one thing to have it on the backs of my legs, at least I couldn't see it then. DAMN YOU SUN. I couldn't see it when the curtains were down.
I'm drinking water and exercising and I still have cellulite? I may as well hustle and get those valances now while she announces the next pose. It's not like I can exercise away this cellulite. That shit's genetic.
I'll go ahead and take the curtains off the other window in here too. Then everything will match.
WHY DOES EVERY CURTAIN ROD IN EVERY HOUSE I LIVE IN HAVE TO HAVE THAT JACKED-UP JAGGED EDGE!?
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
I WILL jerk those valances across this jacked-up metal edge without tearing them. I WILL.
Screw it, I'll rip the lace. I hate these curtain rods and I hate this lace! I HATE IT!
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
Wow that sucked. But it's on! DON'T SLIDE OFF THE OTHER SIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SLIDING OFF JUST LET ME PUT THIS ROD BACK ON THE WINDOW AND THEN I WILL NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN. I'M SERIOUS, I WILL MOVE OUT OF THIS HOUSE HAVING NEVER TOUCHED YOU AGAIN. PLEASE JUST DON'T SLIDE OFF...thank you.
I'll just finish yoga and then do the other window.
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
I can't wait, I'll just do it now. I really just need my legs for this pose, anyway.
Wow. This curtain rod doesn't have a jagged edge?! I should write that down in a journal or something, commemorate that somewhere. Let me just pop this one back on the window while she's announcing the next pose...
DAMN, THAT LOOKS GOOD! The kitchen looks so much bigger! Wow. Take a picture and send it to Mom and thank her.
*quick yoga pose*
*quick yoga pose*
Damn it, this carpet needs vacuumed. I can't believe how bad this looks. The light really isn't doing my lack of vacuuming any favors.
*vacuum*
*vacuum*
Corpse pose already!? Yoga goes so much faster in here! I love it!
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