That's a blessing and a curse, really. Right now, because the sun's out and I just had this amazing lunch, I choose to consider it more of a blessing. Other times, when I've been zoned on the couch for the better part of a day, binge-watching Netflix, wearing my robe and covered in crumbs/sugar dust, I wish I was more of a forward-thinking type.
Overall, though, I'm all about the now. What I like about being this way is that I see life as a series of adventures just waiting to be collected. And one positive thing I can say for myself is that I can (quickly) find the positive in every negative situation. I've been tested. For sure [just like everyone], I have been tested. But I can do it.
My last six months have been full of amazing adventures. I've shattered my comfort zone more times than I can honestly count. I've tried many, many new things. If something doesn't work out, or is a little too weird, I file it in my "Unintentional Bucket List" and move on from there.
And I love it. I love that I can essentially live my life like a "Choose Your Own Adventure," but with less cataclysmic end choices than I always turned to in those childhood books of the same name.
I have this pretty incredible boyfriend who lives in a similar vein, and finding someone whose weird matches your own is truly the coolest. Plus, it's just easier because we love most of the same things and go on the same adventures together, so, if anything, my fun new life experience threshold has grown exponentially since he has come into my life.
Today, I had the chance to meet a bunch of new people, and then turn around and have lunch with someone I hadn't seen in 22 years. None of this would be happening if I hadn't had the unexpected opportunity to move to Springfield. And a year ago, I never, ever thought I would have a life outside of Nevada, much as I yearned for it to be so.
And that, because I realize some of you may be wondering by now, is the point of this blog. I felt fairly mired in some serious quicksand at this point last year. I had a son on the brink of adulthood, about to leave me behind (which is fine! Really! Except not, at the same time.) A lot of changes were happening, and I didn't feel that I had control over any of them. I wanted to be free, but had no idea how to start.
The human spirit, though, is an incredible, resilient thing. Even while I felt like curling up in the corner and rocking, I continued to get up and push myself forward. I tried new things that would introduce me to new people, even though every fiber of my being was telling me to stay home and read a book instead. When my friends told me I was getting a little too wild, I recognized it as something almost beyond my control. My world then was a cage, and there was no discernible release mechanism from the inside.
And then, suddenly, there was.
And I opened it.
It has been the best decision I've ever made, even though my sister would hasten to add that there weren't many good decisions prior to that with which to compare.
So, believe me when I say this, it is not too late. No matter where your struggles lie, no matter how hopeless you feel, understand that this doesn't have to be the best that life gets. It's a matter of shifting your thinking.
There was a post, from Humans of New York (check that site out, seriously!), that provided the best summation of how I look at life. It came along at the best (worst?) possible time, and got me through a lot of dark moments thereafter.
*Credit: Humans of New York, 2014*
There will always, always be a delicious pear. Find yours. And savor every moment of it once you do. Because all we have, ALL we have, is this moment. Right now.
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