I mean, what?
In a way, it seems like it has been every bit of 20 years since I was a student at Nevada High School. My son is about to start his junior year there, for heaven's sake, so mathematically it definitely makes sense.
In other ways, I'm kind of stunned. It doesn't feel like I should be one of the old ones. I still feel relevant, despite repeated assurances from my kids that I'm not. I feel like I'm just now becoming comfortable in my own skin. I wish I'd been that way 20 years ago, but I wasn't, and that's the end of that.
I see my kid now, and he is everything I would have wished for high-school Jen. Except the being a guy part. I was cool with being a girl. But he has this confidence that I never had. He has this natural ability to talk to people, and he is, like, so well-rounded. He understands math and chemistry and stuff.
But I digress. The original point was, I'm 20 years older, and this weekend, a handful of classmates and myself will converge at an agreed-upon meeting place to stare at each other surreptitiously and drink.
Should be interesting. And it's made me come up with a little compilation of my life now that I would love to go back and tell 17-year-old me, just to freak her out.
The list would go something like this.
1) Remember that incredibly hot guy that you almost literally drooled over every single day of your senior year? The guy whose butt you stared at longingly every chance you got? The guy who, when he looked at you, rendered you incapable of speech, thereby preventing you from ever having a conversation with him in high school? Yeah. You're married to him now.
2) You DID get through the math requirement and get your bachelor's degree. And you didn't even have to cheat or bribe anyone.
3) Sit down, honey. Take a deep breath. This is going to be a tough one. You never got out of Nevada.
4) Oh, also you had cancer. You lost your hair, and you have one HELL of a freaky situation going on with that boob, but you got to keep it!
5) You know how you didn't ever really like kids? You had one. And then you got two bonus kids. All boys, thank God, so there's that.
6) You don't lift weights anymore. I know. I know. But there's this great thing called yoga...
7) Since I just hit you with that, I'm going to gut punch you again real quick. You don't play tennis anymore.
8) Ms. Holman came back to Nevada and was the first female principal of NHS, which was AWESOME! Sadly, she just retired and moved to Eureka Springs, but still, that was cool.
9) The one thing you can't live without is a little portable phone that also functions as a computer and a Walkman.
10) You still work at the movie theater. But you actually like it now. And you get to work at a college too, in order to get your intellect on, so it's a good balance.
and FINALLY:
11) You're going to be a (step)grandmother, probably by the end of this sentence. I know. Weird.
I can't imagine Future Me coming to tell Young Me any of that 20 years ago. It's good that I didn't, though. If Future Me told Young Me I would still live in Nevada, Young Me would have done anything to make that not happen, which would have wiped out many of the other things on the list, namely the most important one, which is my current little family.
All in all, it's a kick-ass life, and I feel unbelievably blessed to be living it. I hope my classmates have had their own amazing 20 years of stories.
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